Home Safety

It’s challenging to build a sense of safety during a transition. Establishing a new home for your family comes with the weight of past experiences and fears of potential new ones. While you cannot dictate the actions of your abuser, you can take proactive steps to safeguard yourself and your loved ones.

Sometimes it feels as if the shadows of the past linger, casting fear across every moment of joy. The constant vigilance, checking locks, keeping children close, and feeling imprisoned in your own home can be overwhelming. It’s easy to become trapped in a cycle of fear, always anticipating the worst.

You deserve to be without the burden of that constant fear.

Here are ways to keep your new home safe after leaving an abusive relationship:

  1. Change the Locks: Immediately change the locks on all doors and windows. Consider installing deadbolts and additional security measures to prevent access. Keep your house and car doors securely locked (and parked in the garage when available) when they are not in use.

  2. Install a Security System: Invest in a security system that may include alarms, surveillance cameras, motion detectors, or a combination of all three for added protection. Many of these systems offer the convenience of being monitored remotely, which can significantly enhance your peace of mind. By staying connected to your security setup, you can feel more safe in knowing that your home or property is being watched over at all times.

  3. Create a Safe Space: Designate a specific room or area in your home where you can go if you ever feel threatened or unsafe. It is important to ensure that this space is easily accessible to you at all times and includes a way to secure it from the inside, providing an additional layer of safety and peace of mind during difficult situations.

  4. Limit Information Sharing: Be cautious about whom you share your new address with. Familiarize yourself with your neighbors and consider having a conversation with them about safety, asking them to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity. Be aware that your address will be listed online in most cases. Before moving to your new address, consider reaching out to a local domestic violence agency near you to see if you qualify for any help hiding your address presence online. If you go to court, your address will likely appear on all documents your abuser has access to. It’s essential to take proactive steps to protect your location and maintain your safety. Research available resources in your area and understand the importance of safeguarding your information during this challenging time.

  5. Use Outdoor Lighting: Install adequate outdoor lighting around your home. Motion-activated lights can deter unwanted visitors and help you feel more secure.

  6. Maintain Privacy: Use curtains or blinds to prevent others from seeing inside your home. Maintaining privacy can help you feel more secure in your space.

  7. Establish a Safety Plan: Create a personalized safety plan that includes emergency contacts, routes for leaving quickly, and places to go in case of danger. Teach your children what to do in the event of an emergency to ensure their safety as well.

  8. Seek Support: Consider connecting with local resources or support groups specifically designed for survivors of abuse. These organizations can provide valuable guidance, a sense of community, and emotional support as you navigate the challenges and opportunities that arise while transitioning into your new life. Engaging with others who understand your experiences can be incredibly beneficial during this time.

  9. Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with the specific local laws and regulations that pertain to protection orders or restraining orders if applicable to your situation. Gaining a thorough understanding of your rights can greatly empower you to take the necessary actions and steps if the need arises. Knowing your legal options can provide you with a sense of security and help you navigate any potential challenges that may come your way.

  10. Trust Your Instincts: Always trust your instincts about your safety. If something feels off, take immediate action to protect yourself, whether that means seeking help or reinforcing your security measures.

If your abuser ever shows up at your home, call 911 right away and follow their directions to stay safe. Never open the door when your abuser is outside. Do not speak to your abuser if they show up. Find a safe space in your home, call emergency services, and protect yourself.

Keeping items such as pepper gel/spray, along with other self-defense tools, can enhance your sense of security both at home and when you're out. It is crucial to check local laws regarding these items, as regulations may vary by region. Make sure that any self-defense item you choose to carry is compliant with the legal guidelines in your area to avoid potential issues.

Being well-informed and adequately prepared can significantly contribute to your overall peace of mind at home.